It was last Thursday when the words came tumbling out, produced by a tired and frustrated brain.
I said to Ant: “I can’t wait till January is over.”
Implicit in that statement was the sentiment that ‘life would be better’ once the calendar ticked over to February 1.
Oh dear Kelly, way to practice what you preach! Only days earlier I’d posted something to the effect of ‘if I’m not happy with what I have now, I won’t be happy with what I have in the future either’ on a friend’s Facebook status.
January’s been full of me thinking:
- Life will be better once we’ve submitted this 100 page Tender that is devouring resources in our office like the hungriest hippo the world has ever seen.
- Life will be better when that stressful job I am doing for Client X is done.
- Life will be better once we sign on the dotted line with a builder and get our new house underway.
- Life will be better once I am fully recovered from that bad fall I had and can start running again.
- Life will be better once Mia has passed through this exhausting stage where she is into everything and I can’t take my eyes off her for a single second.
While I realise it’s natural for these thoughts to enter one’s head, it’s not good when they start to dominate one’s thinking. It was time to get a grip. And as it so often does – the universe provided.
Driving home that day after picking up the kids from day care, Jaden started to make funny faces and noises at Mia in the back seat. She thought it was hilarious. As her delighted little baby giggles echoed around the car a deep sense of contentment suddenly hit me.
“This is what it’s all about it isn’t it?” I said to Ant.
He looked at me, bewildered (the usual reaction when I bring him back into a conversation I started an hour earlier).
“This. Driving home at 4.30 in the afternoon, my whole family together in the car. Our kids laughing at each other. An abundance of love and health in our lives. We don’t need anything else do we? Sure January’s been full on but life is as good now as it will be when January is done.”
The look he gave me said it all.
Well … duh.