When we’re on the overwhelm slide, that’s when any work we’ve done understanding our core values comes in handy.
For people with kids and careers especially, the predominant thought is, ‘This is just how life is for people like me.’
I often see articles referring to the ‘cult of busy’, talking about how most people wear the word as a badge of honour.
I’ve always had a strong sense of identity. Once depression took hold, however, it destroyed my confidence and with it, my sense of self.
Unconditional love from family and friends gave me a safe place from which to take two steps forward, one step back, one step sideways.
Of course, I never said a flat out ‘No’ to someone’s face. That was a step too far for me, someone who was addicted to people-pleasing.
Why is it that we need to get permission to do the things we know we need to do? Is it because they always involve disappointing someone?
I thought it was arrogant and unrealistic of me to want the achieving without wanting to pay the price everyone else was paying.
Telling ourselves we’re ‘great’, or ‘doing a good job’, or daring to articulate the big dreams we have goes against much of our social programming.
When it comes to change, it’s easy to see self-sabotage and regression as the same thing because they lead to the same place.
It was tough to live. For those who loved me it was frustrating to watch. And I beat myself up mercilessly for every regression.
Whenever I find myself struggling and going into what I call ‘grasping’ mode, I know it’s time to check in with my values.
Whenever I’m really struggling, I go searching for magic bullets and secret sauces. I become convinced there’s ‘one thing’ that’s just going to ‘change everything’
I knew how much work lay ahead of me in terms of getting better, and, frankly, I was terrified of what that work looked like.