Relax. Nothing is under control


This time last year I found myself in a bit of a funny place. I was … content. Right where I wanted to be in life – both personally and professionally.

This was really disconcerting given my need to be striving towards something at all times. But it was also a really good time to be exactly where I wanted in life. I was about to have a baby and (even though I didn’t know it at the time) was about to start preparing my house for sale. (What? Isn’t that what everyone  does when they’re just about to have a baby? Sell their house?)

So I chose the word ‘float’ to guide me through 2013.

Floating (or going with the flow) is not a natural state for me but it proved the perfect way of navigating those last months before Mia’s birth. Months which saw me driving the purchase of a block of land and the selling of our house (see how easy I can make those two things sound in retrospect?!)

I also floated through the first 10 weeks of Mia’s life, even enjoying the fact that for many of those weeks, she would only sleep during the day if she was lying on me.

I sorted of floated through the months of post-natal depression (well I did once I figured out that was what I had).

By October however I was done with floating. I got the itch to start heading forward under my own steam again.

So I did. I got on my board and started paddling.

By the end of 2013 it felt like I had paddled my way onto a wave of momentum and had two choices:

  1. Bail out. Jump off the wave and wait for the next one to come along; or
  2. Ride the wave. See where it takes me. Put my faith in the universe.

I’m a big believer in being in control (of everything). I get very anxious when I don’t feel in control (of everything). And when I get anxious this triggers off a whole lot of other stuff.

But I am going to try something new this year. I am going to try and relax about the things that are not under my control.

I am going to put my faith in the universe.

So much so that I am not even going to choose a word to guide me through this year.