Reflections at 40 – Choices – 6/40

To celebrate turning 40, I’ve challenged myself to blog for each of the 40 days leading into my birthday. This is post number 6. You can read all the posts here.

They say hindsight is 20/20 and looking back on this period of my life, it’s so clear what I needed to do.

Cut back on commitments.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone.

Exercise some self-compassion.

At the time, however, I felt trapped – by my business, our financial situation, and especially by my personal brand.

When you’re someone who’s known for having their shit together and bases their self-worth on hearing people say, “Wow, you’re amazing, no one’s ever done x like that/that well before,” a lot of choices are swept off the table.

Admit defeat?

Ask for help?

Tell someone you’re unable to help them because you’ve got too much on your plate?

No chance.

So, in the absence of what I believed were options, I kept going down the path of obliteration.

Not realising that was actually a choice in itself.


Comments 4

  1. Yes, you are right. I feel the panic in your article. I got kicked off the hamster wheel. I got obliterated. Luckily, I didn’t destroy my family aswell and we have recently started to make the changes to our world so that we don’t fall back into the busy & stressed & overwhelmed life. I am busy working on my way of thinking so that I don’t try to keep up with the Joneses.

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      Thanks so much for reading through all the posts Fiona. I’m sad you got to the point of obliteration (I did too). I wish we didn’t have to go there before making our changes! But sometimes, we just do

  2. Thanks for this post. I’m older than you are and still sometimes need the reminder that I can’t be everything to everybody, nor should I be. I’ve let a few people get in the habit of thinking I can pick up all their slack, which isn’t healthy for them or for me, and just in the last year or so I’ve had to 1) admit it, and 2) re-train them not to expect it.

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